Moving in Together: Insights from a Relationship Counsellor

Thinking About Moving in Together?

Deciding to move in with your partner is an exciting milestone, but it’s also a big step that deserves thoughtful consideration. Whether you’re planning to share a studio or build a cozy home together, preparing for this transition can help make cohabiting a positive experience. Here’s expert relationship advice to navigate moving in together smoothly.

Watch for Red Flags

Before taking this step, consider whether there are any red flags in your relationship. Recognising warning signs is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries, emotional wellbeing, and safety.

Common red flags include:

• Controlling behaviour or excessive jealousy

• Persistent dishonesty

• Disrespect for your independence or personal space

• Refusal to communicate openly

• Consistent disregard for your feelings or needs

If you notice these patterns, trust your instincts. It’s important not to ignore behaviour that makes you uncomfortable.

Safety Note: If you’re concerned about your wellbeing, it may be unsafe to confront these behaviours directly. In Australia, you can call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) to speak with a trained counsellor 24/7.

Have Honest Conversations Early

Before signing a lease or moving boxes, talk openly about your expectations. Discuss:

• Finances: How will you split rent, bills, and groceries? Will you merge accounts or keep them separate?

• Lifestyle habits: Cleaning, chores, pets, and routines

• Boundaries: Guests, privacy, and social interactions

• Future plans: Marriage, children, property, and long-term goals

  
  

Clear, early conversations help prevent misunderstandings and reduce stress later on.

Align on Finances

Money is one of the most common sources of tension in cohabiting relationships. Decide how household expenses will be handled, and ensure transparency. Consider:

• Splitting rent and utilities

• Creating a joint account for shared expenses

• Keeping personal finances separate while contributing fairly

Define Your Space

Even in small apartments, everyone needs personal space. Respect each other’s need for alone time, whether it’s a quiet corner, weekly solo activities, or simply uninterrupted downtime.

Set Up House Rules

House rules help both partners feel respected and heard. From laundry habits to overnight guests, clarifying expectations early can prevent frustration and resentment.

Communicate Constantly

Living together exposes both your strengths and weaknesses. Make regular check-ins a habit, express appreciation, and discuss what’s working—and what’s not. If communication becomes difficult, a relationship counsellor can help you identify unproductive patterns and develop healthier ways to connect.

Embrace the Adventure

Moving in together is more than logistics—it’s a journey of learning, growth, and shared memories. Expect awkward moments, but also laughter and new traditions. Approach cohabiting with patience, flexibility, and a sense of humour.

Final Thoughts

Deciding to move in together reflects trust, commitment, and a desire to build a shared life. By approaching this transition with openness, patience, and effective communication, you can create a positive and rewarding living experience.

Creating a home is not just about the physical space—it’s about nurturing your connection, maintaining individuality, and strengthening your partnership. Embrace the journey as an opportunity to grow together, build lasting memories, and enjoy the adventure of cohabiting.