Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Support
When a relationship leaves you feeling confused, diminished, constantly on edge or unsure of yourself, it can be difficult to make sense of what you're experiencing.
You may be questioning whether the relationship is emotionally abusive, wondering if your partner's behaviour reflects narcissistic or antagonistic patterns, or trying to recover after leaving a difficult relationship.
ACA Registered Counsellor • Secure Telehealth Australia-Wide • No Referral Required
When a relationship leaves you questioning yourself.
You might find yourself replaying conversations, questioning your own judgement or wondering how a relationship that once meant so much has left you feeling this way.
Perhaps you're still trying to understand what's happening, considering whether to leave, or finding that the emotional impact hasn't disappeared even though the relationship has ended.
When a relationship involves repeated criticism, manipulation, control or emotional invalidation, it can become difficult to make sense of your experiences and trust your own perspective.
This experience is inhumanely destabilising.
You don't need to have all the answers, know exactly what to call your experience or decide what comes next before seeking support.
My approach is warm, collaborative and focused on helping you understand what you've experienced, reconnect with yourself and explore a way forward that feels right for you.
When you no longer feel like yourself
Difficult relationship dynamics aren't always easy to recognise, particularly when periods of closeness or affection exist alongside experiences that leave you feeling hurt, confused or diminished.
You might find yourself:
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Walking on eggshells or carefully choosing your words to avoid another conflict.
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Questioning your memories, perceptions or reactions after difficult interactions.
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Feeling responsible for keeping the peace or managing another person's emotions.
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Apologising frequently or wondering whether you're asking for too much.
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Struggling to maintain boundaries without feeling guilty.
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Feeling disconnected from your own needs, values or sense of identity.
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Going over conversations repeatedly, trying to understand what happened.
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Finding it difficult to decide whether to stay, leave or trust your own judgement.
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Struggling with self-doubt, grief or a loss of confidence after separation.
You might recognise some of these experiences, or your situation may look quite different.
None of these experiences alone establishes that narcissistic abuse has occurred.
What matters is understanding the patterns within your relationship, how they have affected you and what support you need.
What do we mean by narcissistic abuse?
The term narcissistic abuse is commonly used to describe harmful relationship dynamics involving patterns such as manipulation, control, entitlement, hostility, repeated criticism or a persistent disregard for another person's needs.
These dynamics can occur in intimate relationships, family relationships and other significant connections. They can also be difficult to understand when the behaviour isn't consistently harmful or when you're left questioning your own interpretation of events.
Not every difficult relationship involves narcissistic traits, and narcissistic traits do not automatically mean someone is abusive. Counselling also doesn't require diagnosing another person.
Instead, we can focus on what you've experienced, the dynamics that have developed and the effect the relationship has had on your emotional wellbeing, confidence and sense of self.
You don't need a particular label to deserve support.
Support while you're still in the relationship
You may not be ready to leave, may not know whether leaving is what you want, or may simply be trying to understand what's happening.
You might be hoping things will change while also feeling exhausted by the patterns that keep repeating.
Individual counselling can provide space to explore your experiences, understand your responses and consider your options without pressure to reach an immediate decision.
Depending on your circumstances, we may explore:
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The patterns and dynamics that keep recurring.
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Your emotional responses and what happens during difficult interactions.
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Boundaries, personal needs and what feels acceptable to you.
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The difference between what you can influence and what is outside your control.
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Decisions about the relationship and what you want moving forward.
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Ways to seek appropriate support and consider your safety.
You don't have to decide the future of your relationship before beginning counselling.
Where there are concerns about coercive control, intimidation, violence or safety, individual support and specialist domestic and family violence services may be more appropriate than couples counselling.
Support before or after leaving
Leaving a relationship doesn't necessarily mean the emotional impact ends at the same time.
You might feel relief and grief together. You might miss parts of the relationship while also recognising that the dynamic was hurting you. You might find yourself questioning your decisions or wondering why it has been so difficult to move forward.
Recovery isn't always straightforward, and there's no single timeline for making sense of what happened.
Counselling can provide space to explore:
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The emotional impact of the relationship and its ending.
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Feelings of grief, anger, guilt, confusion or self-doubt.
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Experiences that have affected your confidence or sense of self.
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Difficulty trusting your own judgement or making decisions.
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Boundaries with a former partner and navigating ongoing contact.
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Your needs, values and hopes for future relationships.
The focus isn't on forcing yourself to move on or putting the relationship behind you before you're ready. It's about making room to understand your experiences and reconnect with what matters to you.
How I work with you
Sometimes, we don't need someone to fix things straight away. We need space to sit with what's difficult, feel heard and have our experiences understood without judgement.
My work focuses on helping you make sense of the emotional and relational patterns beneath what's happening, rather than focusing only on individual incidents or surface-level strategies.
Depending on your circumstances and what you need from counselling, we may explore:
Understanding the patterns
Making sense of recurring dynamics, emotional responses and interactions that have left you feeling confused, diminished or stuck.
Reconnecting with yourself
Exploring your needs, values, preferences and sense of identity, particularly if you've become accustomed to putting yourself second or questioning your own judgement.
Strengthening boundaries
Developing a clearer understanding of your boundaries and considering ways to protect your wellbeing in difficult interactions.
Finding clarity
Working through uncertainty, exploring your options and identifying what you want your relationships and life to look like moving forward.
Rebuilding self-trust
Making space for your own perspective, recognising your needs and developing greater confidence in your decisions over time.
There is no prescribed sequence or expectation that you should reach a particular outcome.
We'll work collaboratively, at a pace that takes your circumstances and needs into account.
When the relationship continues through children
Separation can be particularly complicated when you share children with a former partner and ongoing communication is necessary.
You may find yourself navigating difficult conversations, disagreements about parenting, boundary challenges or the emotional impact of continued contact.
Individual counselling can provide space to explore these challenges, consider communication and boundary strategies, and identify ways to support your own wellbeing while navigating ongoing responsibilities.
The focus is on what you can do to look after yourself and respond to your circumstances, rather than trying to control another person's behaviour.
Where there are concerns about coercive control or family violence, parenting and communication decisions may also require specialist legal or domestic and family violence support.
Why work with me?
My work with people affected by narcissistic and antagonistic relationship dynamics is informed by training through the Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC) program with Dr Ramani Durvasula.
As a relationship counsellor, I bring this knowledge into a broader approach that considers the emotional and relational impact of difficult experiences, alongside the needs, boundaries and goals of the person seeking support.
With over 10 years of combined experience in mental health and relationship support, I see how relationship difficulties can affect far more than the relationship itself. They can influence confidence, emotional wellbeing, decision-making and the way we see ourselves.
My approach is warm, collaborative and non-judgemental. You don't need to explain everything perfectly, arrive with a clear label for what happened or know what you want to do next.
We can begin with where you are now.
You don't have to diagnose your partner
You may have spent hours searching for answers:
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Is my partner a narcissist?
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Was I being gaslit?
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Was what happened emotional abuse?
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Why do I still feel affected by the relationship?
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Why has it been so difficult to leave or move forward?
It is so understandable to want to make sense of experiences that have felt confusing or difficult to explain, especially when we have been subjected to antagonism.
You don't need to find the perfect label before seeking counselling. Our work can focus on the behaviours and patterns you've experienced, how they have affected you and what you need now.
Understanding your experience doesn't depend on reaching a diagnosis of someone who isn't in the room.
When additional support may be needed
Counselling can be part of a broader support network, but it isn't a substitute for specialist domestic and family violence services, legal advice or emergency assistance.
If you're experiencing coercive control, threats, stalking or violence, your safety and the safety of any children involved are important considerations. We can discuss appropriate support options, but you may also benefit from contacting a specialist service that can help you consider practical options.
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 000.
In Australia, 1800RESPECT provides support for people affected by domestic, family and sexual violence on 1800 737 732, by text on 0458 737 732, or through its online service.
Let's Start With a Conversation
You don't need to know exactly what you want to do next.
You don't need to have all the answers.
If you're feeling stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, or simply curious about whether counselling could help, I'd be happy to meet you.
ACA Registered Counsellor • Secure Telehealth Australia-Wide • No Referral Required
Frequently Asked Questions
Not Ready to Book Yet?
If you'd like to ask a question, discuss your situation, or find out whether counselling is the right fit, you're welcome to get in touch.
Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to know what your next step should be.